“More Than Enough" - A Must Read for BLACK Women in Their 20s
S/O to the Creative Collective for Giving Away Free Copies of “More Than Enough” at CultureCon 2019
We have all been there. That situationship that you knew should have ended awhile ago because the writing was all over the wall. That career changing decision we are too scared to take even though it’s everything we wished for. “More Than Enough” more so reads like a diary to a younger Elaine; writing in the spirit and reflection of her growth. A memoir to a younger sister - sis you need not feel discouraged when you are uncertain about the direction of your career. These are notes to the present-day 20-something black college grad struggling to trust our intuition in all areas of life.
Through stories from her childhood experiences, teenage + adult dating, plus navigation of an impactful career, Elaine shares with her readers how she became who she is. A vibrant, authentic, and accomplished former Editor-in-Chief of Teen Vogue knocking down barriers for inclusivity. Through her transparency, you feel like you are with her during so many of her transformative moments. She shares personal stories of defeat and triumph as she navigates NYC as a fresh college graduate looking to make a name for herself.
Interwoven in her journey are three themes that we can all appreciate. There are themes on relationship, culture, and career development. All 3 areas I find myself forever trying to balance. If one day it isn’t my latest love interest disappointing me then it’s feeling like I’m an imposter at work. If it’s not feeling the weight of feeling like my fellow Black women aren’t being considered in the products I develop it’s that I feel awkward being the only Black person in the room. We are forever balancing these pillars in our life while maintaining our sanity.
We spend so much of our twenties searching. For ourselves. For our soul mates. For success. For the illusion of security.
- Elaine Welteroth
Love - “What’s done in the dark will come to light”
Having kissed a few frogs before she met her prince, Elaine is very transparent about her dating life from adolescence into adulthood. My favorite was someone she called Future Husband. He had it all together. Corporate finance job in the city, his own place, and cash to spoil her the way we all dream of.
He actually gifted her a pair of Louboutins for her interview at Teen Vogue! On paper he was the right guy. In real life she silenced the red flags that indicated it wouldn’t last. He imparted a view of how women should be and what makes a great homemaker. He had a fashion powerhouse on his arm but wanted to belittle her to a housewife with khakis lol. It came to a time where Elaine would silence herself on matters that were important. I resonated with this so much because I felt this way before. I would rather not argue with him so I stayed quiet. What happens after awhile is that you lose yourself. You lose what makes you a strong independent woman. Money can make a relationship experience so much better but it’s not worth the expense of your sanity and peace of mind. While ignoring the red flags and what made the relationship not fruitful, Elaine made it harder for herself to walk away. In the end Future Husband was cheating on her and though refusing to believe it at first Elaine met her breaking point. The quote from her mom was the icing on the cake “ You will never call that man again. Never. I don’t care what time of the night it is, . . call your mother. Or you call one of your friends who love you. But this is not love.”
WHEWWW. How many of us have been there. Loving so intently we compromise our morals and values. The strong firm image of us so many of our peers celebrate, we are no longer able to see when we look in the mirror. We lose so many pieces of ourselves trying to make it work. What’s meant for you will be for you effortlessly. No act or effort, no apology, you can never force anything that isn’t meant to be. In that same light we must have the firm will to do away with what isn’t for us. As we fast forward to 2020, Elaine recently got married to Jonathan Singletary, on 5.10.20 in a beautiful and innovative stoop wedding.
Culture - “No matter how much you try to blend in, your race walks into every room before you do”
Society will always label you as Black. No matter if you are a first generation American from an immigrant family from Haiti (ME). Nor if you are an heiress to a Nigerian oil tycoon. It doesn’t matter. Our experience as Black women are always lumped into one with a forceful removal of our separate cultural identities. In the eyes of society, Black women aren’t considered to be multi-dimensional. As women of color we go through a lot. The pressure to conform to Eurocentric beauty standards and always feeling as if we will never be good enough to succeed in life.
Elaine is very forthcoming about her family and growing up as a biracial child. Her parents both placed emphasis on cultural experiences to ensure she always knew her roots. Her mother calmed her concerns on being different than the other kids in her class. She was encouraged to love and accept that her curly hair will always make a statement. Rather than hating the tresses, let's embrace them for they are constant reminders of the motherland and of where we are all from.
Through her role as Editor-in-Chief at Teen Vogue, she ensured our issues were headliners for the magazine. Elaine pushed the envelope and forced the conversation on what matters to us. Discussions on natural hair and hair product recommendations started transformative conversations. Her intentional inclusion of politics and social justice issues into the publication during the 2016 presidential campaign were avant garde to say the least.
She used her position and power as a Black woman to ensure our voices and POVs were included in a mainstream publication. Whereas Teen Vogue thrives on fashion and beauty lovers, Elaine ensured that cultural nuances were equally discussed.
One aspect where Elaine’s story will forever hold true is in the midst of all the chaos we may face, finding and holding onto your tribe will always help you prevail. She sought mentorship and guidance from seasoned Black women that came before her. She surrounded herself with a sister circle of friends to keep her grounded. As Black women we need each other to lean on. We have a shared sense of struggle, perseverance, and triumph that will forever bond us.
Career - “In order to change the stories, you must change the storytellers”
Though it may not look like everything will pan out, you are exactly where you should be to take in and learn the most that you can. As millennials we get so caught up on milestones and timing but nothing & I mean nothing beats God’s timing. The universe will send you signs when it’s time to pivot roles. Elaine was contacted by someone from Teen Vogue for a role she felt she wasn’t quite ready for and actually turned down the opportunity to interview. The individual knew how great of a fit Elaine would be and pursued to vet her as a candidate anyway. Even if you don’t believe in you, someone else clearly and vividly sees your potential. This kickstarted Eliane’s upward trajectory to being the youngest (at the time) and second Black Editor-in-Chief of a magazine at Condé Nast. She did that!
She had an unwavering love for beauty, media, and journalism. While these may often be seen as separate entities, in her reality she intersected her interest to have a prolific career. One of the most tear jerking moments she recounts was the high after successfully executing the first Teen Vogue Summit. This was a painstakingly crafted event that included conversation on career development, political issues, and of course beauty. She was able to have Hillary Clinton, Yara Shahidi, Congresswomen Maxine Waters among many many others speak - truly enticing the youth that attended. As the actual printed magazine was coming to a halt, Elaine had to decide what was the next move for her. She reached the summit literally and figuratively. She landed, managed, and crushed her dream role as Editor-in-Chief. For so many of us reaching the top is the goal. You deserve to give yourself far more credit than you are giving today. You are your best cheerleader.
I had done enough.
I was enough.
And I was ready for more.
- Elaine Welteroth
I felt seen and heard while reading this book. I felt like I wasn’t alone in my relentless career pursuits. I felt I like I wasn’t alone being the “only” especially as a Black woman in STEM. I have often been the only Black women in my classes or in a meeting. It is an isolating feeling that can cause you to steer away from your potential from the sheer discomfort. You build this sense of always wanting to fit in because you automatically stand out. As I’ve gotten older I’ve embraced my Blackness as it makes me feel so much more resilient. Elaine highlights why we should embrace those moments of self-doubt and dream so big that even while reaching the summit we peak to see what’s on the other side.
